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Friday, November 7, 2008

The Question...

I'm a bit grumpy today... maybe just tired... I was originally scheduled to work til 11am today but the other day they added training hours so we could finish up our computer training for the month... I only had a two minute test left to take on my list but never could get a free computer... another associate was supposed to work on training hours this morning as well but said she had already made plans and couldn't come in... originally it was only the supervisor scheduled today... she was the manager on duty... good thing I agreed to stay as I ended up being floor coverage for the day... so that made me a bit grumpy that I wasn't even scheduled and yet I was the only one there.... I mostly stocked the men's work boots and opened a few boxes, but otherwise I wasn't very motivated today...

Of course the day started with one of the managers that is my friend that got promoted saying she had a opening for a lead and that it wouldn't hurt for me to just post... now those of you that know me know that I was a supervisor for fifteen years until four years ago when they eliminated my position and there were no lead openings unless I transferred to another store plus the lead positions were changing hours that I wasn't able to adhere to due to the boys but I was lucky to keep my full time status and work in shoes.... Of course over the last four years they have wanted me to post for lead positions but with hubby working nights and me mornings, it is a good schedule for the boys... of course now the boys are getting older and hubby is working more days now...

Anyway I am always undecided when it comes to this question... Do I want to be a supervisor again....

Of course it would be more money but more hours and less time with the boys... I don't want to work until five or six.... I don't want to work most or every weekends... I don't want to work a closing night once a week... and yet even the position I am in now, if they followed the proper schedule instead of what I request, as a full time 30hours, I should be working those hours...

I don't want to be manager on duty and have to answer the phone and customer approvals and complaints, although I am sure over time I would get used to it again... however with my old lady hormones I don't do well with confrontation and I have no patience, lol...

Of all the positions that have come in the last four years, most of them I had already done as a supervisor, this position now would be Brand Central/large appliances and a higher position than what I had in the past...

Of all the managers the one who now has the department is my favorite to work for and I know she would give me good communication and training of all the new procedures I am not familiar with...

But at the same time I always tease her that we can't work together any more cause we always ask for the same weeks off for vacation... she has been with the company as long as me so we both get five weeks a year... of course as a lead my vacation can get cancelled at a moment's notice, where now as an associate I always get to take them... plus we both need Wednesday's off so I would have to put son3 back in daycare just for Wednesdays...

I don't want to be in shoes forever... and yet I'm stuck in a comfort zone...

My supervisor is making me mad... every day she comes in with an attitude that she doesn't want to be there and is it time to go home yet....

I called hubby and dropped the question in his lap, as usual he hesitated as he doesn't want me working all the hours... and yet he's not even working 40 hours at his full time job as a supervisor... doesn't one of us need to step up to earn more money, or just keep going on faith and charging up our credit cards... I lost $500 a month when I lost my supervisor position four years ago and now medical insurance is eating up half my paycheck and I don't want to count on it but when it comes it's handy... but I haven't received any past due child support from the ex for two months now....

However becoming a supervisor again isn't really about the money but what do I want to be when I grow up... And we don't really get to be whatever we want when we grow up especially when you have kids.... Hubby and I aren't really go getters but we are responsible and hard working....

However I'm mad at hubby for not being more supportive and I'm sure later he'll try to smooth it over and say I can do whatever I want but too late, he already hesitated so I know he has doubts... He's way too cautious sometimes....

So I'm just gonna sit here on my butte and sulk on the computer, while the ants crawl all over the dishes in the sink, the ants just showed up when the sun went down, and the boys fight over my old skateboard that son2 put some new wheels on and fix me and son3 some hot chocolate and it's time for jammies since it's dark outside....

Yay Ghost Whisperer comes on tonight... and Smallville and Supernatural were way good last night....

Son3 tried to ride the skateboard in the kitchen....... he's decided he doesn't want one now since the wheels made him fall.....

Son1 called yesterday morning while we were all at work and school, his message just said he would call back last night but he never did... I just found the message this afternoon...

Hubby went grocery shopping this morning and the checker forgot to give him the eggs....

I'm a week behind in reading blogs, hope to get caught up tonight and tomorrow but son2 wants some Internet time too...
He's on the phone with a girl right now.... she's just a friend...and he's emptying the dishwasher for me so he can have Internet time...

Off to find jammies and hot chocolate....

Happy Journaling...

13 comments:

Barb said...

If it isn't broke.....don't fix it. If you are happy with your life as is and the hours you are worked.....leave it be. Just sayin/// :) Barb

Martha said...

I think you need to quit your job so you can be a atay at home mom and full time blogger - me too! Our husbands should get second jobs - high paying of course and our kids should do 100% percent of the housework and yard work to earn their computer time, cell phones, meals and a place to sleep. Our jobs will be to supervise all of them. Sound good? ;-)

Barbara said...

Praying wisdom and God's will for you dear!

gulfcoastdee said...

I am here delivering you some hugs.
Give it to HIM and HE will answer your dilemma.

Dee

(Cassie) said...

I hope you stay where you are happiest..things have a way of working out.

a corgi said...

I like Martha's answer; think you can sneak that one past your hubby?? (she's soo funny)

seriously, what a dilemma! but here's the thing; the kids are only young once; if you can get by working less hours to be more home with them, that's what I would do; you know you'll blink and son2 will be graduating from high school; it happens that fast

Pray about it; I know the Lord will lead you where he wants you and what is best for your family

hugs to you

betty

just me said...

I really like Martha's answer!
It is a hard decision to make.
Hugs,
Barbara

lisa jo said...

i was offered quite a few management positions when we went SC and i said no to all. I am 40 and make subs. Is that my passion? Nope. You read and know that my job makes me INSANE. But with this economy i do what i have to do. Do what your heart tells you to do...if being with Son3 and being there for him and you can still swing the bills, stay in shoes. If you REALLY deep down want that money and want to be a lead again, take the job. It is really really frustrating when the DH lets us down.

Janie said...

Hmmm praying for you but will say this common knowledge. It seems like the more a woman works the more the family becomes dependent on her salary... making it harder for her to quit work. :( Maybe if you just wait on the Lord .. He will make something else available. My son needs a raise.. as a minister.. but yet if they give him a very low income he would feel responsible to stay even if he was given another preaching job with much higher raise. Waiting upon the Lord is so much better. Another question.. what is more important.. your children or the job that you may not like. Sorry if I seem harsh with the questions but they must be thought out. Love, hugs, and prayers, Janie

Chrissie said...

Oh I'm sorry you ended up having to stay. I would be grumpy too. You had good right.
Nope don't do it son3 is still a baby and needs you around the house. I know you're letting son2 take on more responsibility, but unless you absolutely have to like moneywise or something I would stay as I am. Time spent with the kids is more important than any job outside the house, but that is just my feeling and I know that no everyone is lucky enough to be able to do that. Ah Hell you got time to grow up when the boys go off to college.
I was gonna ask if you've heard from son1 he's been no mention lately. I didn't know if it was a touchy subject or not. Hope everything is okay with him. You know no news is good news.. right?
I hate when they forget to give you something. I went a couple of weeks ago and they forgot my toilet paper. That's kinda an important thing around my house because if you know me I have a phobia of running out. If the roll gets to half way I have to have a new one. Kait says she can tell when I've been to her house because I'm to good to use the half roll that's out. I go looking for a brand new roll LOL. I'm silly I know.
Hugs, Chrissie

Jeannette said...

Never ask a man what he thinks you should do! He'll never come out with a straight answer. I'm reading backwards here so I read you decision and I agree that you should wait till the kids are older. I couldn't take a position if it meant my vacation could be cancelled just like that.... I'd be too distraught and never get over it! Jeannette xx

Indigo said...

Sounds out of you and your husband you tend to be the more responsible one. The way I look at it is this, the boys won't be young forever. Does that mean you miss out on them, or rather your beginning to realize you need to be prepared to start thinking of you in terms of how you spend the rest of your life. It's a catch 20 question, but yeah Hubby did kind of leave it in your lap. (Hugs)Indigo

Indigo said...

The only other question I would ask is: If things get rough work wise with a Recession, who will be let go of first a lead or your normal scheduled person? (Hugs)Indigo