June Fourth

I am off today… and it has been raining all day… all three boys have been on video games all day… girlfriend is over now and son1 is getting ready to go out to see Bridesmaids and dinner… I have lasagna in the oven for me, hubby and son2 and son3… now to decide what we will watch tonight…

Hubby and I took a ride to his new job to pick up his paycheck… then we stopped at the Sears near there to check on their shoe department as they also have a visit this week… they are so tiny though compared to my store… I’m sure they will be ready as I only saw a couple of things that needed fixing and they still have four days in which to do it… hubby found another dress shirt while we were there…

Then we stopped at my store… hubby understands what I mean now when I say the customers just leave the shoes all over the floor and don’t put anything away… I only have three days til the visit and we have A LOT to fix… and hubby found a dress shirt while we were there too…

My attitude has changed once again however and I am enjoying my day off…

Friday night I tried very hard to get things done in shoes but everything that could go wrong or take me away did… my full timer called out in the day… and one of my closers called out at night… the computers were freezing up and it took forever to print my reports and schedule… I was manager on duty from 3-6 and was called all over the store… After dinner I tried helping the closer in shoes clean up but I had to do store closing duties and had problems with one duty that caused me to get behind in that the store was closed and I wasn’t done yet… then I was going to help my shoe associate again as we stay an hour after closing and we usually get done with procedures a half hour before we leave but I was stuck as another department took until the last minute to turn in their department so it was time to go home… So I have heard God loud and clear that I am not in control, He is and I can only do my best… We have three days and all my associates are constantly working between helping customers and cleaning… plus old supervisor is helping for two days… I just want it to be over! and I don’t want him to come back for months so we can get on a routine and get things done…

Hubby’s work was so nice and clean… where is hubby…. Oh, he’s playing video games too now…

The kittens are still so cute… my distraction from work when I get home… Holly is still so mad… I don’t think she is ever going to like the kittens… she hisses at them and at us… she chases them down and swats at them and swats at us… I try to pick her up but afraid she is going to rip out my throat in one swipe of her paw… she sits off to the side of everyone and growls very quietly… or goes outside or just stays in the garage…

Still an hour til the lasagna will be done… and I am snacking… let me go see what needs doing around the house besides Frontierville on Facebook…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that sometimes it may feel too hard to do it alone. Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on God. God will be there.

Happy Journaling…

June Third

I continue to freak out over this visit… I don’t like it… I want to be calm and in control… I am starting to shut down… I want to go on with business as usual… he said some very negative things when he came for the training and these thoughts are making us doubt ourselves in everything we do… I lost another associate yesterday… two more will leave probably after the visit… nothing negative, just moving on to other jobs or positions… so many changes though in such a short time… my job is to keep the department motivated and positive… it has only been two months since I took the position… and I am just now getting frustrated with the position… and if we weren’t having a visit would I still be happy and enjoying it…

One of the concerns when I was given the position was that I couldn’t change my mind… I did that ten years or so ago and only lasted a week in the management position and backed out… the reason was no direction or involvement from management… everyone is so paranoid and just out for themselves it seems… and now I am seeing they still are… they all complain about no teamwork and yet they don’t communicate with each other… I do have a boss who is supposed to be involved in this visit but all she asks me is what’s the plan and doesn’t wait for an answer… when she interviewed me she made it clear that it was my department and that I was to run it and I would not get direction from her… I knew that… and yet I have no one I can confide in at work or vent on… I’m trying not to do either with the team as I don’t want to worry them… I’m there so they can vent and confide in me… the store manager says he has an open door and yet if you complain he says it sucks to be you… which translates to this is your job, quit whining and get to work… step up and take care of it… I understand that… and also if you don’t hear from management it’s cause you haven’t done anything wrong… no news is good news… so guess I must be doing something right…

And yet it feels so junior high… as you can’t say anything even teasing to fellow leads as they are so defensive, paranoid and looking out for themselves… I mentioned something to a fellow lead yesterday and of course she blamed someone else when I wasn’t telling her to ask my permission for what had been done but just to give me a heads up… but she got so defensive to my teasing it just hurt my feelings and I dropped it… to the point that I don’t want to talk to any of them either now… if I do something wrong I’m sure they will all be the first to throw me under the bus and I’ll just learn from my mistakes not because they want to help a fellow co worker…

I keep telling myself we won’t fail as we passed last year and we didn’t do anything extra as the supervisor didn’t really give us any direction nor was she there as she had manager duties to do… actually we are slowly pulling everything back together after the Memorial weekend… but there’s still the problem of everything I did as an associate then that the other associates still haven’t picked up on… but then fine I will get no on my old areas and have them do what they have always done… at least I am learning what everyone is capable of and what is expected of us… which isn’t that what the whole training is for anyway… and it’s only been two months so can I still play the new card… there is an online test to take after the certification on the 13th… the first day of my vacation, hmmmm guess I will be going into work for a bit…

Mostly I just don’t like how all this is making me feel… I can’t relax… I’m not getting anything done at home… I’m snapping at the family… Feel like the work team is pulling apart, especially with losing four associates, then pulling together… I feel like such a failure… and we haven’t even failed yet… I know all the motivating things to say to myself and yet I can’t shake this awful feeling… and most of all I know that God is in control… and my work for 2011 is TRUST… I want to put a smile on my face and go to work and enjoy each day… I read something yesterday that said, we already know what is wrong, we need to look at what is right… I need to have a good cry but the tears won’t come… I’m hoping by writing this all out, I can move on….

I am off tomorrow… Then Sunday-Tuesday continue to get ready… Then Wednesday morning at 9am he will be there… Then by 1pm he will be on his way to the next store… and life hopefully will go back to normal… but since this is part of life why can’t it be normal now…

I close tonight and will be manager on duty…

All this stress is making me fat again…

I’m off to get ready for work…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that we all need the validation of love to feel safe, secure, and at home in this world. Don't withhold your love and appreciation. Love abundantly.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that there are only two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is. Don't wait for miracles, your whole life is a miracle.

Happy Journaling…

June First Evening…

Guess who walked in the door at noon today… hubby… the computers were not working so he could not do his training… so he worked on the home computer making flyers/coupons and got paid for the rest of his day… of course I was not expecting him til 2:30… so I did not get my whole four hours of alone time even if he was closed in the computer room… he is now back from the bank and getting gas… I picked up son3 and no homework, yay, thinking no more for the rest of the year… son2 is home and making dinner but needing help as he doesn’t know where anything is in the kitchen… so who’s making dinner… son1 has come home from work, showered and is off to get dinner with friends… we teased that he just doesn’t want to eat son2’s cooking… and son2 who never gives me anything until the last minute made sure to give me his senior class photos information sheet… I understand they must be done during the summer but school hasn’t even ended yet… tell me next week… after the visit… I’m grumpy…

I did do all the laundry today… just need to put it away… and cleaned the boy’s bathroom… emptied the litter box… filled the birdfeeders… watered the plants… vacuumed… ran the dishwasher… cleaned out the magazines, all caught up to June now… wrote up my entries for The Motivation Station for tomorrow and next week… played Fronteirville and My Zoo… and watched Emergency…

When I first started my new position there was a contest that we didn’t win for the department category but I won for the lead category… so I won a $100 gift card… I didn’t do anything really and it was more of a drawing but for the whole region only 8 of us won… I finally spent it last week or so… I ordered everything online as it was Super Saturday so an extra 10% off, plus free shipping if you spend over $99 and add my employee discount… I got hubby a dress shirt for work, son2 a Buffy The Vampire Slayer graphic novel, two bath mats for the boy’s bathroom, me a shirt, denim capri and all the books above… I actually didn’t get the capri as they were out of stock and I gave the shirt to girlfriend as it was pink, not purple and very see through… she likes to layer with tees and tanks so she will be able to wear it more than me and she loves pink…

The books are:

The Knitting Diaries; Debbie Macomber

The Summoning; Bentley Little

The Ignored; Bentley Little

Death Instinct; Bentley Little

The Disappearance; Bentley Little

Key of Light; Nora Roberts

Key of Knowledge; Nora Roberts

Key of Valor; Nora Roberts

Blue Dahlia; Nora Roberts

Black Rose; Nora Roberts

Red Lily; Nora Roberts

These are the bathmats for the boy’s bathroom… I’m waiting a bit til the kittens are no longer in that bathroom as they are making a big mess in there during the night…

And here are the kittens getting so big… at just three months old… That is Maple… she is son2’s kitten but she has bonded more with me… she sees me and comes running, meowing all the way…

And this is Indy… she is so laid back she is like butter, melting right into the floor with her kangaroo feet…

They are both motor boats with their purring…

Asleep sitting up…

The Green Hornet and The Dilemma came from Netflix today… We watched Tangled again last night and then sent it back today…

I had a headache, it is finally going away… I have just been snacking all day, haven’t really sat down and had a meal of sorts… son2 is making chicken and rice so that will be good… I am feeling tired again this afternoon… today was supposed to be a recharging day so I would be raring to go at work tomorrow… everyone to bed on time tonight… we have all been staying up til after 11pm… and then I am automatically awake at 6am… even on my day off…

Holly is still mad at the kittens and Danny is starting to tolerate them a bit as long as they don’t hiss at him…

Remember last year when I was growing seeds in egg cartons but they didn’t make it so I threw everything into the yard just in case… well they didn’t come up but I guess I also had thrown something out from Easter or some time as these came up and finally bloomed this week…

Son2 is about half way done with making the chicken so better start getting other things ready so we can eat…

Happy Journaling…

June First…

My Day Off… The boys are off to school and work… Hubby is off to work… I have worked the last six days and now to get caught up around the house… And write a nice long entry to clear my head… I laugh though cause once I have the house to myself and peace and quiet to write, I find I rather be up and about getting things done with no one in my way… and then when everyone is home I sit on the computer but have too many interruptions to write out an entry… so my poor blog gets ignored…

The biggest thing on my mind at the moment is my certification at work next week… Hours are very scarce at the moment and even on a good day it is hard to have everything clean and perfect… and we just came off of a holiday weekend so everything was tore up on top of our already being behind… at the beginning of last month we used a 100 extra hours just to get ready for the training meeting which in his words after seeing the department were he was embarrassed to have our store host the meeting… when in fact we did look very good just not perfect… and of course last week we had to pay the hours back so were way under staffed and then the holiday weekend and this week at regular hours… so we are working very hard these four days but then the weekend again… so my team is a little down hearted… they want so much to succeed but knowing it will take a miracle… we have 54 questions on our certification and can only miss 5, getting a 90%… we are able to miss more than we did last year but last year he gave us a chance to fix things during the certification and this year he is not giving that option… and no one has actually said what happens if you don’t pass… we thought we had heard he would come back again in two weeks… maybe he will take pity as I am still new, at least in his mind as a lead… however I have been in shoes seven years, I know what is expected…

Of course on top of getting ready for the visit I am still doing all my new manager duties and my old shoe duties of opening boxes and locating stockroom, so I am stretched a bit thin at the moment and could snap at any second, if I wasn’t so tired… I’m not finding much time to open boxes, locate and help get the floor ready as I am at meetings, on the computer doing reports, making schedules, manager on duty, closing the store………… Which I don’t feel I am giving my all to my manager duties as my mind is on the visit…

Then this week the manager schedule came out for the month and it had me switched to close this Friday instead of Thursday as someone took a vacation day and switched with me without asking… Very bad communication between management at our store… so luckily I saw it and switched my schedule as I would have come in to close tomorrow and then had to close again on Friday…

Plus I had a full time associate quit without notice… which the other associates will pick up the hours but then they also have to cover the duties of that person… and I have two new people still learning the processes… and another two who may be leaving after the visit… and do you know I have been only doing this job for two months… so all of us are still adjusting to the changes… and I have lost my enthusiasm and I don’t like it… I knew all of this going into the job and I knew what I had to deal with… especially the drama with all the managers… I just feel like I was set up to fail from the start… and I was told I couldn’t change my mind and I don’t plan to… but I sure miss my old job right now… lol…. or probably just the comfort zone of it as I am still doing my old job, I just can’t enjoy it and my new job with all this pressure of the visit hanging over my head… but of course I knew that going in too… but man this will be the third time he is visiting me since I started in just two months… of course we probably won’t see him again til Christmas and then again next summer when we have to be recertified all over again… 

I want my one day at a time attitude and positive attitude back again… I took this position on my faith in God and knowing that he will be walking with me the whole time… why was it so much easier to trust him with finding hubby a job which he did after nine months… I want to have the same trust in that we will pass next week and not to worry but enjoy each day… I want to lift up my team not bring in negative vibes… I am not even excited about hubby’s new job as I am so worried about this visit… I lost it with him on Saturday as I was so stressed but he is used to it and just let me vent on him… of course I was saying negative things about his new job… but think I was just feeling a bit jealous as he only worked four hours on Wednesday, two hours on Thursday and had a four day weekend… as his new boss is out for surgery for the next six weeks… he works twenty hours a week and was back to work yesterday and today… but since he works 10-2 and has weekends off it still seems like he is still out of work as he is always home when I am, lol…. except for Wednesday which is my day off… but not next week as that is the day of the visit, so I had to rearrange my whole week… to work on Sunday even though it is my weekend off and work on Wednesday… but I am then off Friday and Saturday… but then have to work on Sunday which is my bday but it is my weekend to work… and then I am on vacation starting the 13th… but what if we don’t pass, will he be back and then will I have to cancel my vacation… I’m thinking no as we don’t have any hours, so my team can use my hours to get ready again as I am always off doing manager stuff and not very helpful anyway….

I think the biggest thing is no matter what he says on the certification we will still be here after he leaves still doing our jobs as we are not going to get fired or anything… just human nature not to want to fail but shine… be better than the rest… not to mention that  upper management doesn’t even respect the guy that is coming so they won’t even care what he says… of course I am sure if we don’t pass they will not agree with him but yet have to deal with it anyway as he reports to their bosses… so I’m stuck between doing what is right to get ready for the visit and answer to the bosses who are in the store and do what they need me to do too… and everyone thinks that everything is getting done every day when there are not enough hours in the week to get everything done that needs to be done every day… but then everyone was fine with my old supervisor when she was running it and I didn’t really see her do anything in the department as she was always off doing manager duties… but then of course she had me working in the department when she wasn’t there… I Don’t Have ME……. Deep Breath……

I was going to continue this entry throughout the day but it has become very long already just talking about work… so maybe several entries throughout the day…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that your unspoken prayers will be answered. Yes, God knows you, God hears you, God loves you, God is there for you. You are blessed.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that today is a whole day for you to do good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a whole day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; and in its place will be something that you had left behind... let it be something good.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that God sees you as you truly are, - a holy child of light: I see you strong and whole. I see you blessed and prospered. I see you courageous and confident. I see you capable and successful. I see you free from all limitations or bondage of any kind. I see you as the spiritually perfect being you truly are.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that when whispers do not get your attention, bricks will fly your way. Don't speed through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention. Slow down and be present.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that when you do the right thing, it will feel good in your body. Your body never lies. When you feel stress in your body, something is out of balance in your life. Restore the balance, and your body and spirit will reflect the rightness of your choice.

Happy Journaling…

May Twenty Seventh Evening…

We just finished watching Gnomeo and Juliette… Silly but Cute with Good Elton John music… Actually his company made the movie and then presented it to Disney…

Hubby is now fixing apple pie a la mode…

We had tacos, taquitos, refried beans, corn,  and nachos for dinner… yummy… I am so full…

and so tired… my five hours of sleep is catching up with me… but I can sleep in tomorrow, then back to work to close…

Now we are watching Lost in Space… Son2 went off to watch the season finale of The Mentalist…

All the shows have ended for the season… more time to watch Netflix shows and movies…

We also recently watched Tangled… Hilarious!! Still want to watch it again before we send it back to Netflix…

We also saw Gulliver’s Travels with Jack Black… Cute and Funny, classic Jack Black…

Harry Potter was a bit slow but it is only part one setting up for the big finale…

We went to the movies on Sunday and saw Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides… we used our Christmas gift card from son1 and girlfriend… Jack Sparrow was hilarious and Blackbeard was really cool…

Lost in Space is almost over and it’s 10pm already… Time to get the boys and me off to bed…

Happy Journaling…

 

May Twenty Seventh

I’m finding I really don’t like Thursdays… But once it is over they weren’t so bad and I’m just fine… I’m sure partly it is because I’m off on Wednesday and then I close on Thursday… then I always have the manager on duty phone and other manager duties to do… so between Wednesday and Thursday I get nothing done in shoes…

But back to work again this morning, so lots to do today to finish up the week and get caught up in shoes with reports, schedules and maybe some stocking, opening of boxes and locating the stockroom… plus I’m not off again til next Wednesday so hopefully I’ll get lots done…

Son1 is off to work this morning early so he can work a half day and then he and girlfriend are off to the beach somewhere near Los Angeles for the whole holiday weekend…

Son2 is off to school with his art project that he’ll be painting today… and he did finally order his yearbook yesterday…

Son3 brought home all his projects from the whole year after school yesterday… and hubby walked to pick him up so I’m sure they were a sight carrying dioramas, project boards and an overflowing backpack… he had a homework pass but had brought home class work that needed to be finished that was only two questions but hubby said it took him over an hour as he couldn’t remember the story that the questions were for…

Hubby now has a four day weekend as his new boss has surgery today and will be off for the next six weeks… he also only worked two hours yesterday as she had to leave for lab work… he has another manager that he will answer to while she is gone but since his position is a new position there isn't an exact plan in place yet… so next week once her surgery is over she can call from home and give better instructions to everyone… I have to remember to pick hubby up some new dress shirts after work today as he has had to borrow son2’s…

I was up til midnight after work last night, watching Bones to unwind… then up after 5am to make sure son1 was up… he was… was going to go back to sleep for a half hour or so but the kittens were getting into everything this morning… mostly my houseplants… Indy got sprayed with the water bottle three times for pulling on the branches… and then Maple peed in another one… they are being able to climb higher and higher finding new places to explore… They are on the dining table with me now, knocking all son3’s pencils to the floor and batting them around… I think they are starting to get tired now as they have been running around for over an hour, getting out their bees from being in the bathroom all night… Yep they are quiet now and laying down…

Time to get son3 up for school and get me ready for work…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that infinite possibilities are born of faith. Do you think that's air you breathe; that's earth you walk on? All matter is God's creation. And the source is faith. When you have so much faith that you become one of faith, infinite possibilities open to you.

Happy Journaling…

May Twenty Sixth

Finally taking a moment to visit my blog… I have been trying to read blogs but Google reader is not working quite right and does not keep you logged in… I was behind over 600 so finally just marked all as read because it was not clearing them out as I was reading and then adding them back out after I cleared them… Still able to visit and read so I shouldn’t complain…

I have good news to share………………………………..

Hubby started his new job yesterday!! The UPS Store… Part time for now, building to full time as business picks up… Mon-Fri, 10-2… perfect schedule for getting son3 to and from school…

I’m excited but not as excited as I thought I would be… Guess any change takes time even when it’s good news… I laugh at hubby though… for the last nine months he has been the perfect house hubby to the point of being underfoot… and one morning back at work and now it’s ALL About Work… to where he’s already back to his old habits in the house of being a working dad/husband… but then that’s a good thing to which we are very thankful…

I had the whole house to myself yesterday morning as everyone was at work and school… Blissful… Barely spent any time on the computer as I keep thinking of things to get done with no one here to distract me… laundry, dishes, even mopped the kitchen floor… just general tidy up with no one here to undo it right behind me… this morning the same as I close tonight so home this morning enjoying the quiet again…

I’m settled into my new job now except for the certification looming over my head for the 8th of next month… an annual thing now of all footwear leads being certified in the footwear department with the help of the footwear associates… 54 questions we have to pass with a 90%… ranging from reports to processes to sales floor standards to stockroom standards to associates knowledge with the customers… we know of everything but so very hard to have everything 100% at all times but for the 8th we will have to be… this week however we have no hours as we are making up for all the hours we used at the beginning of the month for the last visit… so most associates only have 4 hours this week… then this weekend is Memorial Weekend so we will be very busy… I’m still waiting to hear how many hours we will get for next week and/or have overnighters… but in addition to getting everything ready for the visit it will be a lot of recovery from getting so far behind this week… I keep telling myself one day at a time as I walk with God each day…

  

June 7th is son3’s school trip to the local water park… When son2 was younger they didn’t go to the water park until 5th grade so I’m not too keen on son3 going but go he will… will drill the rules into him before he goes and send lots of sunscreen, towels and shirts… son2 got a VERY BAD sunburn when he went… son2 had never been to a water park but had been to full size pools before… where son3 has only been in the 4ft pool in the back yard… although usually when he goes on any school trips he always spends all his time in the video arcade…

Then June 9th is the last day of school… and the visit will be over with us hopefully passing or then we will have to do it again… June 12th is my birthday… and then hopefully I will get my vacation approved for the week starting June 13th…

We celebrated girlfriend’s 21st birthday last Friday… still have the decorations up, hopefully hubby will get them down this weekend… mostly the balloons left that son1 was going to take to her… we had chocolate pudding cake with Hello Kitty decorations… she then celebrated with family and friends testing the drinking ways with son1 taking care of her as she had a bit too much… this weekend they are going away to the beach for the weekend to finish off the birthday celebrating… next month they will celebrate their two year anniversary and son1’s one year anniversary at his current job… then it will be time for son1 to follow through on his plan of joining the military…

Son2 has been finishing up his year as a junior… supposed to be buying a year book today, nothing like the last minute… tennis is done… got his team pictures that I need to scan in to share… tomorrow is the award night but he doesn’t seem to want to go… he is also finishing up on one last art project for art class…

Last night we went to son3’s Open House to see all his art work and reports that we, I mean he, did this year… the teacher was teasing everyone and congratulating the parents on their dioramas… I wonder what grade I got on my diorama…

The kittens are getting so big and getting into everything… we still put them in the bathroom for the night or when we go out… however the other day they some how opened one of the bathroom drawers that blocked the bathroom door and locked themselves in the bathroom til hubby and son2 were able to get them out… with hubby working now we may start leaving them out at night and then just putting them in the bathroom while we are at work and school… then work on slowly keeping them out all the time once the boys are on summer break…

Still two hours til I go to work but need to shower, get dressed, have lunch and tidy up before I go…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that there are many truths, and they all point to one source - God. Do not spend energy arguing whose truth is righter, - just like all life springs forth from one source, so are all truths but a reflection of God. Accept another truth as another way of loving God.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that how bad things may look right now means nothing, - it's how good they can be with God's help that counts. In life you can absolutely count on one thing, - everything can turn around in one day, in one minute sometimes. Don't you dare to give up, - you might be a moment away from a windfall.

Happy Journaling…

God Wants You To Know…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that your love is a gift to the world. Let your love radiate out to all you meet. Let your love touch the hearts of people you don't even know. Let your love reach to the far corners of the earth. Love is what is saving the world.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that although forgiveness is very hard, it is necessary. Holding onto anger and old hurts hardens your heart and hurts only you. Ask for help in letting go of the anger. Ask to see the situation through the eyes of compassion. Allow yourself to feel the lightness of forgiveness.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that there is a time and a season for everything. It may be a time of new beginnings, a time of growth, a time of reaping the harvest of hard work, or a time of rest. Trust this beautiful order. Everything in its time.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that doubt is the rust of life. Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you can only give away what you already have inside yourself. True giving happens when you are overflowing from the inside, and cannot help but share. When there is so much love within you that it has to flow to others or you would burst open. There is no thinking involved, no willpower in such sharing. It just flows out. If you have to force yourself to be kind, to love, to feel compassion, you've missed the first step of filling in your own Self with these emotions.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that it's time to STOP going through the motions of living, and START living. Are you willing to do that now? Or are you going to wait until all life energy drains out of you and your loved ones who are trying to support you at this very moment? You were not born to follow rules and regulations. Living starts with dreaming. So dream, dream friend, and let dreams show you the path to your bliss.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you deserve happiness just because. There is nothing you need to do to deserve happiness. There are no 'minimal requirements' for you to fulfill before you can claim happiness. You deserve happiness simply by virtue of having been born. That's it. Nothing more is required. Be happy.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that it's time you stopped hiding from life, and said yes to the adventure of being alive. Enough of the routine already. Go on, have an adventure, - do what you always wanted deep within your heart. Do what brings you alive, and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that it's okay to ask for help. Sometimes we get overwhelmed with the details and complexities of our lives. Sometimes we need some help to get untangled, to gain a new perspective. Ask for help. Help may come in human or divine form. It may be seen or unseen. Ask, and ye shall receive.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that today you can help a thousand people see God's light. Feel God's light shining within you and take a step to inspire someone else to shine. As you share this vision today with just one soul, that reaches ten lives that touch a thousand.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need. Try something new. Do something fun. Be adventurous. These breaks can bring renewed energy into your work and your life.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you don't have to be serious to be spiritual. Laughter is good! Levity is good! When you allow yourself to be joyful, that joy radiates to all those around you. God honors you and your laughter.

Happy Journaling…

May Ninth

Hubby did not have his second interview today… the person called out sick and she will call on Thursday to reschedule… so we continue to wait………….

The Chinese food was so good last night… we watched Toy Story 3, girlfriend picked… she and son1 had not seen it yet… it was the third time I saw it and I still cried at the end…

We were still so busy at work today… we have two days to get ready for Thursday… I don’t know… we will have to perform some miracles… I am off on Wednesday… I was thinking of going in for four hours but not sure now if I should work overtime plus they know I am off on Wednesday… Can’t change Friday or Saturday because I close both those days… I’ll have to see tomorrow…

It was crazy weather on the way home… the last few days have been in the 90’s and then today the 70’s… with a bit of rain and a lot of wind… at one point on the way home it was raining sideways, dirt was blowing every where with leaves and debris and I thought at any moment a cow might fly by…

Son3 is full back into homework… It was after 6:30pm by time he finished today… he had to draw pictures for his spelling words… draw pictures to tell the story of a movie that they watched today… and three math pages… they are already doing fifth grade work to get ready for next year… we had left over Chinese food for dinner and watched an episode of Lost in Space…

Now the boys are all in bed and the pets too… Hubby is watching the season finale of Fringe… I am taping Hawaii Five O and waiting for Castle to come on…

I ate way too much this weekend… Arbor Mist, soda, Easter candy, ice cream, cake, Chinese food, steak, pork chops… I was down six pounds on Friday morning and up five pounds this morning… I so need to get back on my losing weight that I started last year… I keep saying after this holiday and then this holiday… or after this visit… or after hubby gets a job… or after son1 goes forward with a plan… I do know that if I say I’m gonna do it, I don’t do it… I sabotage myself that way… I’m so rebellious about it… I have to start thinking skinny again… and eating for one again with small portions and only when I’m hungry… of course right now I am thinking about candy… but I already had an orange creamsicle…

Watching the end of Dancing with the Stars… Castle coming up next… Then sleeping time…

Like Indy and Maple all tuckered out from playing…

Maple trying to get Holly’s tail… Holly’s tail is always twitching…

Busted! Holly is still not happy with the kittens and swats and hisses at them… she also chases Danny and swipes at him… She’s always been moody so thinking she may not be accepting of the kittens… we’ll have to see…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you can be an echo of your past, or the glory of your future. Past is connected to future through the present. At this very moment, at every moment, you are choosing to carry on the past with all its troubles on your shoulders, OR to let it go and see bright future pull your forward. Choose wisely.

Happy Journaling…

May Seventh

I woke up this morning to Mother’s Day cards and blueberry pancakes… Girlfriend came over and gave me a manicure… we have played with the kittens all day and now they are napping… and I trimmed the roses… now we are waiting for the Chinese restaurant to open so we can order Chinese food… Friday son1 went to the grocery store with girlfriend and they bought tri tip, beans, corn on the cob and macaroni salad for everyone for dinner… then Saturday morning son1 and son2 finished building the fence around the front yard… son1 bought the wood… I cleaned the house on Saturday, while hubby worked in the yard, son1 and girlfriend went to the movies to see Soul Surfer and son2 and son3 played video games… I made pork chops for dinner and we watched a few Angel episodes… after the Chinese tonight we will definitely have enough leftovers for the week… and hubby got a cake for dessert tonight…

 

The kittens are still so cute… They are even bigger since these pictures were taken… I have so many kitten and rose pictures I need to sort through and post… And letters I want to write… I’m on the computer every day but not enough time for email, facebook, blogging and sorting pictures and printing out letters to mail… I’m finally settling in to my new work schedule so next will be settling into a home routine around work… actually once hubby goes back to work, I’ll be able to go back to my routine… someone is always home and I can’t get done I want to without interruptions of some sort…

Hubby has a second interview on Monday with the UPS Store… This was Indy helping hubby with his homework of writing up a proposal to present on his second interview…

It may be a full time job with traveling… on top of my full time management job… we’ve always been here for the boys to the extreme I’m thinking… so guess it’s time for them to stand on their own for a bit while hubby and I have careers… so we’ve been prepping them just in case… especially son2 who will be helping out with son3… I’m finding bribing son2 with comic books is an easy fix… Son2 will be a senior next year… getting his driver’s license… graduating high school… getting ready for college… and helping with son3 one more year… they are all growing up… now it’s time for me and hubby to grow up too…

This week at work I have all the footwear leads coming to my store for a training session… so of course we have to be perfect for company coming… so I added hours and then added more hours and hopefully we will be ready… of course I will have to pay back those hours the rest of the month… and get ready for the certification in the next month or so of what we learned from the training… at least maybe we will get caught up this week… we get two steps ahead and then go back seventeen it seems… the boxes are piling up again… still trying to get associates to absorb the processes I did before… we’ve been so busy this week with Mother’s Day shoppers… and I’ve had several closing shifts and the manager on duty phone… and figuring out all the reports… and coaching the team too… so I have days where I feel I got nothing done and that I don’t even know what I’m doing… and other days I feel great and so on top of things… but overall I’m feeling better each day… it’s been just a month and a week… I would feel even better if I could get in a blog entry each day… but most days by time I get home my brain is fried or just plain tired…

Son1 and girlfriend are watching The Other Guys, son2 is playing XBOX, son3 is watching Osmosis Jones, he’s not sure if he likes it, I was watching The Tourist but not sure if I like it… so the latter two will be going back to Netflix tomorrow… we also have some Lost in Space to watch and CSI from Thursday… all the TV shows are getting ready to end this month… but we’ll still have plenty to watch with Netflix… I finished reading my book by Nora Roberts for the second time, it is that good… Trilogy: Born in Fire, Born in Ice, Born in Shame… Now I am reading the fourth book in Stephen King’s Dark Tower: Wizard and Glass…

The Chinese food has been ordered and will be ready in ten minutes…

Every time I save God wants you to know from Facebook, it reminds me how many days are going by that I haven’t had time to do an entry… although mostly I just can’t wrap my mind around words to write an entry, or really that I’m not ever alone to be able to think while I’m writing without someone needing something as someone is always home… I so hope that hubby gets this job tomorrow… I love spending time together but time apart is good too… right…. of course then we will complain that we never see each other with all the working… but money to be able to do something when we do see each other…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that difficult people are very important, - they teach you tolerance and acceptance. If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept other perspectives on life.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that silence is golden. When we are quiet, we can hear God's messages to us. Sometimes these messages may be in the form of subtle intuition. Sometimes it may feel like an inner knowing. Sometimes we may hear a 'still, small voice.' If it feels right in your heart, trust that it is God speaking to you.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that it's your heart that knows who loves you, not your ears or eyes. Listen to the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and you can be fooled. Feel deeply into your heart, and then you will know the truth. Who makes your heart soar now? Well, what are you waiting for?

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you have to pass through a dark night of the soul. Everyone does, including you. A time comes when what you have always believed is true melts away underneath you. When you cast in doubt even the most obvious, the most simple. When it seems that d...ark night is all around, and you are all alone. Take heart, this journey through abyss is the final barrier before your emergence into the heavenly light of a new synthesis of your being. God is waiting for you on the other side.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that as you surrender to divine providence in your life, you will feel lifted and carried and held. All is well, all is well, all is well.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that the greatest happiness in life is knowing that you are loved for who you are, and sometimes in spite of who you are. Give this happiness to your family, to your friends, to your neighbors.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that there is no need to obsess over a decision. God has more in store for us then we can ever predict, and what we fear are bad choices frequently turn out for the best, because our hidden aspirations know better where we are going than our rational minds.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you are beautiful. Even when you feel ugly or depressed or guilty or ashamed, there is an inner spark in you which is light. This light is your beauty. This light is your reflection of God. You are a child of God, thus you are beautiful.

Happy Journaling…

April Twenty Seventh…

I am off today… Then I work the next six days… The boys are still on Spring Break… Son2 went to his tennis game yesterday but not today… One more game next week and then tennis is winding down… only six more weeks or so and they are done with school and onto summer vacation…

Today I paid the bills… let the kittens out to play, they are up from their nap and sitting on me now… hubby made pancakes for breakfast… I’ve been on the laptop all day… we helped son3 with his diorama… son2 and hubby are watching Spartacus… son3 is playing playstation 2… I did my entry for The Motivation Station for tomorrow… and I’m on the third load of laundry… and I finished making the schedule for the department at work for next week….

We had egg salad sandwiches for lunch… Now I’m watching Supernatural from the week before… this last week we watched it but digital was not cooperating and the wind was losing the signal… We watched Yogi Bear the other day…  son2 still needs to see it… he was off helping son1 move some stuff from his apartment while we watched it with son3… Son1 is still working things out with the roommate… so he is either moving home this weekend or the middle of May…

The kittens are getting so big and getting into everything… Maple knows how to climb over the bathroom barrier and gets out now… Maple is more jumpy and scares easily but is not afraid to jump from high places… Indy is more adventurous but is more timid when it comes to jumping off of places… They both get behind the couch no matter how many ways I block it, especially Maple… when they get behind the couch they climb up the inside and  I can hear their little claws… they also like to chew on wires and my plants… so they’ve been getting a squirt from the spray bottle to warn them off… and they are so curious and cuddly… Danny is still afraid of them since they hiss at him… Holly is being more curious and accepting of them although she will swipe at them in warning if they get too close… They are still just babies though and once they are done playing, fall right to sleep…

 

Indy checking out son3’s Easter Basket…

Son3’s diorama for his story Heat Wave by Helen Ketteman…

I am back… I switched the laundry around… put chicken, pasta and meatballs on the stove… although I am full of pancakes, candy and egg salad and popcorn… but then food is ready for the rest of the week… went outside to check on hubby watering the lawn… the wires aren’t connected correctly in the back so the sprinklers haven’t been going off on the back lawn… and I checked the mail… now son2 is calling me… he was showing me that Indy fell asleep next to the computer monitor on the desk while he is on the computer… I am back again… had to check on dinner, son2 called again and went back outside to talk to hubby…

I pulled out this roll of carpet we have had since the house was built… hopefully hubby can build something for the kittens out of it… cat trees are so expensive anymore… starting at $50 and going up to over $300…

Work is still flying by… Saturday I will have been doing the position for a whole month already… I still have a bunch of computer training to finish by the end of this week… Tomorrow night I am the manager on duty for the evening so that will be interesting… there is still so many things I want to get done in the department… so many reports and manager things I still need to learn… still not on quite a routine as every day there is something new added to my list… next week we have another visit for the whole store… still waiting for supplies I ordered so we can be ready for the training footwear meeting next month… some days I feel really good and others I feel overwhelmed and discouraged…

I’ve been needing a good cry lately but never have a moment to myself with hubby and all the boys home right now… so I’ve been letting things slide a bit at home… just concentrating on the new job… having dinner ready… getting the basic things done each day of laundry and feeding the pets or watering the plants… and having quiet time for myself on the laptop… plus watching a lot of TV with hubby and the boys… I want to get back to making plans around the house and such but it is just so discouraging with hubby still not finding any jobs… even just a part time job…

Easter was nice although a little bit too quiet… I’ve become too much of a home body lately with just going to work and home again… we are a bit too fine financially at the moment as I won’t let anyone spend any money… and we have our tax return… plus another refund we received from the house… and we are able to pay all the bills each month… but that’s all because hubby has unemployment… so even if he was to get a part time job and with my little bit of a raise we would still be ok… and we wouldn’t need to rely on unemployment… so at the moment I am stuck on making any plans until hubby finds a job… so I’m feeing a bit down… and in a rut… I did get a bit peeved with hubby as he went a bit overboard for Easter… I said we would get special treats and each pick a movie and then some candy from the Easter Bunny… so I sent hubby for the candy and he went a bit overboard… and then went to the dollar store and got me some treats and girlfriend too…. I know it’s just the dollar store but he’s the one not working… I would think he would be even more cautious but guess he is overcompensating… I send him to do all the grocery shopping too… incentive to get a job quicker… although it’s all in God’s plan… and I trust him fully…

All tuckered out from playing…

I am off to finish making dinner… Another day spent sitting on the laptop with a bit of up and down and here and there… and not getting enough exercise as I sit half the day on the computer at work now too… and with the boys not at school I have not been walking son3 to and from school… although hubby has still been going for walks with Danny… Gonna see if I can get the boys to watch my move How Do You Know with Reese Witherspoon… son3 is hooked on his Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs movie he got for Easter…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that you are commanded to love everyone, not condemn those who don't agree with you. Your opinions are just that, - opinions, regardless of where you got them from. They are tiny, a speck compared to the immensity of God. You cannot possibly have even the faintest idea of what God commands to other people, to other life forms. Your only possible intelligent choice is to continuously open in love and acceptance. Today more than yesterday.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that all is well. What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present, and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?

On this day, God wants you to know

... that the voice of God is best heard in silence. All too often loud events and daily busyness cloud your vision of God. Take some time to slow down; let there be silence, let there be peace. Calm your mind and let your inner voice re-emerge from the silence. Allow yourself to see visions, allow yourself to dream dreams; and you may hear the voice of God reaching out to you.

Happy Journaling…