Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June First…


My Day Off… The boys are off to school and work… Hubby is off to work… I have worked the last six days and now to get caught up around the house… And write a nice long entry to clear my head… I laugh though cause once I have the house to myself and peace and quiet to write, I find I rather be up and about getting things done with no one in my way… and then when everyone is home I sit on the computer but have too many interruptions to write out an entry… so my poor blog gets ignored…


The biggest thing on my mind at the moment is my certification at work next week… Hours are very scarce at the moment and even on a good day it is hard to have everything clean and perfect… and we just came off of a holiday weekend so everything was tore up on top of our already being behind… at the beginning of last month we used a 100 extra hours just to get ready for the training meeting which in his words after seeing the department were he was embarrassed to have our store host the meeting… when in fact we did look very good just not perfect… and of course last week we had to pay the hours back so were way under staffed and then the holiday weekend and this week at regular hours… so we are working very hard these four days but then the weekend again… so my team is a little down hearted… they want so much to succeed but knowing it will take a miracle… we have 54 questions on our certification and can only miss 5, getting a 90%… we are able to miss more than we did last year but last year he gave us a chance to fix things during the certification and this year he is not giving that option… and no one has actually said what happens if you don’t pass… we thought we had heard he would come back again in two weeks… maybe he will take pity as I am still new, at least in his mind as a lead… however I have been in shoes seven years, I know what is expected…

Of course on top of getting ready for the visit I am still doing all my new manager duties and my old shoe duties of opening boxes and locating stockroom, so I am stretched a bit thin at the moment and could snap at any second, if I wasn’t so tired… I’m not finding much time to open boxes, locate and help get the floor ready as I am at meetings, on the computer doing reports, making schedules, manager on duty, closing the store………… Which I don’t feel I am giving my all to my manager duties as my mind is on the visit…

Then this week the manager schedule came out for the month and it had me switched to close this Friday instead of Thursday as someone took a vacation day and switched with me without asking… Very bad communication between management at our store… so luckily I saw it and switched my schedule as I would have come in to close tomorrow and then had to close again on Friday…

Plus I had a full time associate quit without notice… which the other associates will pick up the hours but then they also have to cover the duties of that person… and I have two new people still learning the processes… and another two who may be leaving after the visit… and do you know I have been only doing this job for two months… so all of us are still adjusting to the changes… and I have lost my enthusiasm and I don’t like it… I knew all of this going into the job and I knew what I had to deal with… especially the drama with all the managers… I just feel like I was set up to fail from the start… and I was told I couldn’t change my mind and I don’t plan to… but I sure miss my old job right now… lol…. or probably just the comfort zone of it as I am still doing my old job, I just can’t enjoy it and my new job with all this pressure of the visit hanging over my head… but of course I knew that going in too… but man this will be the third time he is visiting me since I started in just two months… of course we probably won’t see him again til Christmas and then again next summer when we have to be recertified all over again… 


I want my one day at a time attitude and positive attitude back again… I took this position on my faith in God and knowing that he will be walking with me the whole time… why was it so much easier to trust him with finding hubby a job which he did after nine months… I want to have the same trust in that we will pass next week and not to worry but enjoy each day… I want to lift up my team not bring in negative vibes… I am not even excited about hubby’s new job as I am so worried about this visit… I lost it with him on Saturday as I was so stressed but he is used to it and just let me vent on him… of course I was saying negative things about his new job… but think I was just feeling a bit jealous as he only worked four hours on Wednesday, two hours on Thursday and had a four day weekend… as his new boss is out for surgery for the next six weeks… he works twenty hours a week and was back to work yesterday and today… but since he works 10-2 and has weekends off it still seems like he is still out of work as he is always home when I am, lol…. except for Wednesday which is my day off… but not next week as that is the day of the visit, so I had to rearrange my whole week… to work on Sunday even though it is my weekend off and work on Wednesday… but I am then off Friday and Saturday… but then have to work on Sunday which is my bday but it is my weekend to work… and then I am on vacation starting the 13th… but what if we don’t pass, will he be back and then will I have to cancel my vacation… I’m thinking no as we don’t have any hours, so my team can use my hours to get ready again as I am always off doing manager stuff and not very helpful anyway….

I think the biggest thing is no matter what he says on the certification we will still be here after he leaves still doing our jobs as we are not going to get fired or anything… just human nature not to want to fail but shine… be better than the rest… not to mention that  upper management doesn’t even respect the guy that is coming so they won’t even care what he says… of course I am sure if we don’t pass they will not agree with him but yet have to deal with it anyway as he reports to their bosses… so I’m stuck between doing what is right to get ready for the visit and answer to the bosses who are in the store and do what they need me to do too… and everyone thinks that everything is getting done every day when there are not enough hours in the week to get everything done that needs to be done every day… but then everyone was fine with my old supervisor when she was running it and I didn’t really see her do anything in the department as she was always off doing manager duties… but then of course she had me working in the department when she wasn’t there… I Don’t Have ME……. Deep Breath……


I was going to continue this entry throughout the day but it has become very long already just talking about work… so maybe several entries throughout the day…

On this day, God wants you to know

... that your unspoken prayers will be answered. Yes, God knows you, God hears you, God loves you, God is there for you. You are blessed.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that today is a whole day for you to do good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a whole day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; and in its place will be something that you had left behind... let it be something good.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that God sees you as you truly are, - a holy child of light: I see you strong and whole. I see you blessed and prospered. I see you courageous and confident. I see you capable and successful. I see you free from all limitations or bondage of any kind. I see you as the spiritually perfect being you truly are.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that when whispers do not get your attention, bricks will fly your way. Don't speed through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention. Slow down and be present.

On this day, God wants you to know

... that when you do the right thing, it will feel good in your body. Your body never lies. When you feel stress in your body, something is out of balance in your life. Restore the balance, and your body and spirit will reflect the rightness of your choice.

Happy Journaling…


sheri said...

I never knew how hard it was to be a manager..lol..the stress of doing your certification seems overwhelming, but you have your faith and that will see you thru:)
I hope things settle down for you soon..

That corgi :) said...

I echo what Sheri said, it is hard to be a manager and a manager in retail has got to be sooooo very hard!! I have said it before, retail is hard work!! I wish the "powers above" would realize that and give you guys the hours you need during the times you need them to get ready for certification, etc. It is very stressful I would imagine!! It is also hard too because I know you are working your hardest and going the extra distance and while your hubby is at least working now, I know it is still not quite where you would want it to be, so I know that is frustrating in itself realizing the extra burden you are carrying. (I was a bit put out the other day when I caught hubby napping LOL in the middle of the day while I was at work; I didn't sneak up on him but went to the bathroom because I had to go to the bathroom LOL and saw him asleep). Of course by the time I got out of the bathroom he was up and outside working on something; I think he felt a bit guilty.

I truly understand your frustration and the fact you are tired. It is hard to keep it all together all the time and you still have young ones at home!!

hang in there!!!!!!