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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Sad Day...


I am a very mean mom... I have been very frustrated with son1... probably the cause of my stiff neck and headache for two weeks... I can overlook his coming and goings... and his room area that he doesn't keep clean, he's the one that has friends over... I've tried to help him keep up on his bills but he lived on his own for two years, you'd think he could handle that... the DMV finally sent him a notice to get car insurance... he is working and getting his unemployment to compensate for the part time... he got his car running good but still owes friend money for car he no longer has... I wish we talked more instead of just when he needs something or is hungry... I wish he never got his second dog, actually third dog as girlfriend took second dog when they broke up and he took first dog... My backyard is destroyed... I can not overlook the fact that son1 has only scooped the poop maybe four times in the four months he has been moved back home... I did it every day for two weeks at the beginning of October maybe giving a hint, but he never even said thank you... he did notice... He feeds the dogs maybe every twelve hours, when he gets up and when he gets home... Danny is fine as he is inside and a small dog... however Pistol is outside all alone and only five months old... I've had son2 feeding Pistol in between... I am a mean mom... Pistol has been sick twice before when son1 brings him over to friend's house and they have dog food out so Pistol gorges himself and then can't eat for a day... Pistol got his initial puppy shots but never his follow up ones and don't know if had his rabies shot... son1 did not want to get him fixed either... wanted to raise him as a hunting/breeding dog... Well Pistol hasn't been anywhere since before Halloween and yesterday morning he threw up and didn't eat all day as he didn't feel well... Son1 went off to friend's house and then to work at 2pm-8pm and then didn't come home til 10pm... Pistol was still sick... we suggested some chicken and rice soup, but he wouldn't eat it... He was up and walking around... This morning Pistol still would not eat but was up a bit but then laying around a lot more... I'm a mean mom as I said a lot of mean things this morning about son1 not caring for his dog and God teaching him a valuable lesson and hopefully he would learn that his dog needs him... we went through all this two months ago when I told him a dog was like a child and needed constant nurturing, not like a cat that could take more care of itself... Son1 went to get friend and to PetSmart to get advice and talked to friend's vet and they said probably Parvo... to give him Pedialyte and chicken broth... So son1 gave him some Pedialyte and then went to work at noon... me still being a mean mom was still lecturing everyone on caring for pets and respecting my house... At 1:30pm me being the uncaring mom that I am checked on Pistol and he had passed away... I really didn't think God would take the lesson that far... This is not the way I wanted to get my yard back... I do not blame the poor puppy but son1 who tries to have it all.... Hubby called son1 at work and told him and told him to stay at work and he and son2 took Pistol to the SPCA... Now hubby and son2 are back and hubby is cleaning the backyard as Danny still needs to go out there and if it was Parvo I don't want him to get it...
Son2 is getting ready to mow the front yard, son3 is on his computer games (he does know about Pistol) and I am going back to my mountain of laundry and sink full of dishes/pots and pans....
Happy Journaling... :(

10 comments:

Barbara said...

I am really sorry to hear about Pistol. Poor little guy. I understand being a mean mom, I have said for years that it is much harder to have adult children at times than it is to have younger ones. The younger ones you expect to make mistakes, if they plan to make wrong choices you can say no, this is how it needs to be. But with adult children chances are they won't listen to anything you say. You watch them making big mistakes and there isn't much you can do. The term hard love comes to mind, I think it is harder on Mom's than it is on children. Hope things get better soon. Hugs.Barbara

Martha (Menagerie) said...

I am so sorry Linda ((big hugs)). What a hard lesson for your son to have to learn. I agree with what Barbara said about it being harder to have adult children. It's hard watching them make mistakes, and it's not as if we don't still warn them, they just don't listen anymore. I'm sorry you and your whole family had to suffer for his mistakes this time too ::sigh:: You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Lisa said...

Awwww Linda, so sorry to hear this, Sending Hugs your way !!!!!!! Love Lisa

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

That is terrible. Your son doesn't seem to care even though you've tried to tell him. So sad. I had adopted a dog from an animal shelter once that had parvo and they said I should not have any other dogs in the house for 6 months as it was very contagious. I guess it is good he was outside. I hope your other pets don't get it. Hope you can work things out with your son. Sorry your had such a bad day.
(((Hugs)))

Sonya said...

Bless your heart. I hope things calm down and that everyone learns to house a little more responsibility so it is not so hard on you. How sad though about the little dog. :-( But hopefully things will be a little less stressful.

Indigo said...

I don't think your a mean mom at all. If so I wish there were more mean moms out there and less irresponsible sons. I hope you adopt Danny on some level. Your son doesn't seem to grasp responsibility with an animal.

It's one of the things I keep trying to pound in everyone head. To make sure you know what owning an animal details and what it requires. Son 1 is away from home way too much to be giving even Danny enough attention.

I'm sorry hon. I just feel so bad for that little puppy. Don't scold yourself for trying to do right by those dogs. (Hugs)Indigo

That corgi :) said...

((((Linda)))) I'm so sorry......anything you said did not cause Pistol to die; he was getting sick/being sick before you talked with son1. I liked what Barbara said; it is hard when adult kids move back home and then don't want to actively engage back in the household, almost like wanting to be a roommate instead of a son as part of a family. I totally sympathize with your frustrations; you are more than gracious to allow him to come back home; he needs to be respectful of "house rules" and hold up to his part of the bargain (I give great advice, but I'm having trouble getting this to stick at our house too). I hope son1 opens his eyes and sees how wonderful he has it being with you and tries to work with you and allows you to offer him advice to help get his life back on track. I think he would welcome that opportunity to be able to get back on his own as soon as he can

((((Linda)))) don't beat yourself up over this.......

betty

sheri said...

I am so sorry to hear about Pistol.
You should not feel bad for wanting peace in your house. It is hard to have grown children move back in. You and your hubby have to set YOUR house rules,bottom line.
I gave my "grown children" a choice, either follow the house rules or move out..It is that simple.
Hang in there. It will get better:)
Hugs, Sheri
And

Martha said...

I am so sorry, Linda.
I hope your son1 takes a responsibility pill soon.
You are so not a mean mommy, loving, supportive, and a realist!

Linda's World said...

Oh Linda, what a nightmare. You're not mean...Son1 needs to grow up or man-up as some say. And I'd say no more dogs! PERIOD!! It takes a lot of money to properly care for an animal and like you said they need to be nurtured and trained....just like a yound child. And in this day, with so many excess animals no animal should be un-neutured. Unless it's being raised by a licensed breeder. I'm sorry you all have had to go thru this traumatic experience. Linda