I am updating from the computer as I left my laptop on the TV tray when I went to work today, thinking well it will be OK.... no, son3 knocked over the TV tray and there went the laptop... the laptop is fine but my Cricket usb is not... so no Internet for the laptop until I go to Cricket... I came home and son2 said you are going to be mad... it's been my theme this weekend so he was ready... I said surprise me maybe it's bad news to him but good news to me, lol... but no it was the laptop... I'm not mad, not happy, but not mad as I knew I should have moved it back to it's regular spot... plus I'm kinda broken down from the weekend for any more reaction... or cause it wasn't a one more son1 thing that has been making me mad all weekend so I didn't react since it was partly my fault...
Anyway son1 is wearing me thin... every day it's something with him... something he needs, wants, don't even have words for all he does... he's very high maintenance... he's always going and doing... I'm tired, I just want to relax or get my stuff done and not always be about his stuff... how much stuff can he have to do... he has short term plans, not long term goals...
And everything he wants or does involves money and lately that is my money... He was moved out for two and a half years and I barely heard from him, three times that I know of to ask how to cook something... now he needs me for everything...
Thank goodness he has a job now... it's only part time but he does not have to pay rent or buy groceries... so I am cutting the apron strings once again... and the checkbook is closed...
Of course he doesn't know this as he is never here and when he is, he is not a talker, gets very defensive if the conversation is not going in his favor...
So anyway at least I still have the computer with Internet access... I'll just have to schedule my computer time when he is not here as it is in the room where he is staying...
I had planned on getting some cleaning done yesterday but I wasn't getting any where... I decided to steam clean the couch that son3 uses as a napkin and found that when son1 used my steam cleaner he didn't empty the dirty water, it stank....
Then hubby was working in the back yard but everything he was doing was because the dog had dug up something...
So anything we were doing was not for us...
So I sent hubby for pizzas and we watched True Lies last night... I love that movie!
Son2 was grounded for a bit yesterday too as his attitude has gotten worse since being around son1... Seems I'm not the grownup around here lately as the boys know everything and let me know it... son2 has been very hard on son3 lately also...
And I know I am rambling... so many thoughts going through my head about all this... being a mom, remembering what it was like to be a teenager... how rude teenagers are now a days and how much they think everything is no big deal... unless it's something they want of course... getting mad at myself for reacting to the emotions of the boys instead of the situation... knowing they have to make their own mistakes... knowing they won't understand any of our reasons until they are 40 yrs old, lol... so frustrating though when you try to tell them something that you know what you are talking about as we've all been there one time or another but no they know more.... argh............... and yet remembering our own parents trying to tell us and no we knew better, lol....
at least with son2 we are able to talk after the emotions are settled... son1 is not a talker... so poor son2 has been getting earfuls of things we want to talk with son1 about... we just tell son2 to learn from his brothers mistakes... he says he feels bad for son3 when he becomes a teenager... I said don't worry we will be out of money and probably dead by then from son1 and son2....
Hubby has been Halloween shopping... So we have been trying to look forward to Halloween... otherwise we've barely had a moment to ourselves between the boys and work... and yesterday was our day off...
Son1 is off today and not here... son2 is watching the 49er game and son3 is playing computer games...
I'm going to watch an episode of Emergency and update the checkbook, then go put away the mountain of laundry and then make pizza for dinner tonight...
Happy Journaling...
3 comments:
You are having a rough time of it. Being a mom isn't easy but no, don't let them get you down. It's your house and you should be able to make the rules. Helping son1 out shouldn't including being taken advantage of. He's lucky you let him come home and should appreciate it not the other way round. You are a good mom!
Oh gosh, it's so hard when "grown" kids come home again. It impacts everyone in the household.
Hang in there, it will get better:)
Hope your week goes well,
Sheri
(((Linda)))) I feel your pain and I truly understand!! I'm so sorry with what is going on; it is hard when the chicks that left the nest come back home again; it is never the same as when they left. One can only hope he gets full time and saves money and moves out again. On the other hand, it is nice to know he still needs you (but it would be nice if he needed you on your terms not his)
betty
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